I've just published a brand new article by Jamie Jefferson. Please feel free to share it, reprint it, or republish it as long as the About the Author Box stays intact following the article.
Give Your Family a Health Makeover
Description: Fourteen tips for helping your family achieve optimal health and wellness.
Have you ever wished that ketchup were considered a vegetable? It would ease so much parental guilt.
The issue of family nutrition is ripe for guilt. The choices we as parents make have a direct effect on the health of each member of our family. Yet our daily life routine can make it difficult to create healthy mealtimes and habits. Still, until our kids reach a certain age, we are responsible for helping them make the choices that will guide them through adulthood.
Here are fourteen tips for giving your family a health makeover.
1. Do a Body Mass Index (BMI) check. Is everyone in your family at an optimal weight? Find out by using a BMI calculator (which you can find by doing a simple Google search for “BMI Calculator.”) Enter each person’s height and weight. Take a minute to talk about healthy weight and height and all the benefits of living a healthy life, from improved energy to the decreased likelihood of certain diseases. Make a plan together to help everyone get to his or her optimal weight in the months to come. There are lots of support networks and diets online that can help you achieve this end, for people of ages.
2. Write down your goals. As a family, write down what each person pledges to do in the coming weeks and months to become a healthier person. It’s best to start with one or two specific goals. If you choose too many things at first, you are more likely to become overwhelmed and quit. Small changes can lead to big differences in your life.
3. Make your health goals into a family game. Talk about the healthy choices each person made each day. Reward these choices on a daily or weekly basis.
4. Cut down on soft drinks. Replace one or two sugary soft drinks or energy drinks each day with water. You can add a splash of lemon or lime juice if it helps make plain water more palatable at first. Once you start drinking a lot of water, you will begin to crave it, and you will no longer feel like the sugary drinks do much to quench your thirst.
5. Drink more water. A good rule of thumb is to drink one-half ounce of water for every pound of body weight. Calculate out how much water each person in your family should be drinking each day. Once you are hydrated, you may find that you sleep better and are better able to keep your moods on an even keel, too.
6. Eat breakfast together. Enjoying a family mealtime is a great way to stay emotionally connected. Start your day with the family by eating a nutritious breakfast. Make sure to include some form of lean protein to help you maximize your energy.
7. Exercise together. Think of ways you can combine family togetherness with exercise. Take a walk together in the evenings, and go sledding or bicycling on the weekend.
8. Is there anywhere you can walk instead of drive as a family? Or consider taking your bikes.
9. Subscribe to healthy living magazines and encourage everyone to read about the latest research on how nutrition affects our lives, and stay motivated to exercise and live a healthy, fit life. A good fitness magazine can be tremendously motivating.
10. Cut down on your television. If you do watch TV, watch it together as a family and use the programming as spark for family conversations.
11. Turn off the TV when you eat breakfast or dinner together. Without the accompaniment of TV or radio, you’ll be more aware of what you are eating, and how much you are eating. Plus, you’ll be able to more closely bond with your family during the meal. Start each meal with a ritual conversation starter. “What was the best thing about your day?” is a great one.
12. In addition to TV time, try limiting video games and computer time, too. Plan a family game night with a favorite board game. Do household chores together. Join an organized sports league.
13. Make healthy alternatives readily available. Set a bowl of fresh fruit on the kitchen counter, as well as bowl of carrots, broccoli, sugar snap peas and raw broccoli.
14. Go easy on yourself. Remember that the example you set will be followed by your children. One of the most important methods for creating a healthy family is to make your health and fitness a priority by staying active and making nutritious food choices, and they likely will, too.
About the Author (html)
Jamie Jefferson is a frequent contributor to Momscape.com, where you can find diet reviews and special promotional coupons on the most popular weight loss programs.
What's New at Momscape - The latest updates from Momscape.com, a website devoted to helping moms create lives that are easier, better, and more balanced.
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Friday, December 22, 2006
New Article: The Shy Person's Guide to Conversation
I've just published a new article on the Momscape site. Please feel free to reprint it online - or share it with your friends - provided the "About the Author" box is included, and the links are 'click-able.'
The Shy Person’s Guide to Conversation
Description: Everyone feels shy from time to time. Here are twelve tips to help you keep conversation flowing.
Keywords: conversation starters for shy people, shyness, conversation, the art of conversation
Everyone feels shy from time to time. Here are twelve tips to help you keep conversation flowing.
1. Before the event, visualize yourself as someone who has an easy time making friends and mingling between different groups and whom everyone likes to talk to. It may feel funny at first, but visualizing a positive outcome and repeating self-affirming statements can help in surprising ways. Try “I am comfortable in social situations. I always know what to say. I am a great friend. People like to talk with me, and I like to talk with them.” When you act as though you are confident, you will feel more confident.
2. Take the pressure off yourself. Keep in mind that you do not need to impress or even to entertain during a conversation. You just need to show your genuine interest in others. When you focus your attention on someone else, you are making that person feel important and accepted, and that can go a long ways in making everyone feel more relaxed and comfortable.
3. Make the other personal feel important. When you do not know what to say, shift your focus away from yourself. Try to think less about what you are nervous about, and focus on what you could say to your conversational partner that would bring a little light into their day. Good friends are thoughtful, caring, and supportive. What could you say to show your thoughtfulness and support for the other person?
4. Smile. Sometimes, we make conversation harder than it needs to be. All you need to do to get started is offer a sincere smile and a willingness to listen.
5. Instead of waiting for someone to say hello and invite you into a conversation, say hello first. If you start the conversation, you can steer it in the way you like. One way to do this is by offering a sincere compliment to someone. Comment on something they are wearing and then ask a related question. Or say simply, “What do you like to do – just for fun?” People love to talk about their hobbies.
6. Actively listen. So many times we are paralyzed with the idea that we need to have something pithy or clever to say when the other person would be more than happy to keep right on talking. Just knowing that can take a lot of pressure off the listener.
7. Ask questions. A conversation is a balance between speaking and listening, but you can take a bit of time to warm into each conversation if you need to. Once you have gotten to know the other person a bit better, you might find that you feel more comfortable sharing ideas and stories of your own. If you aren’t ready to contribute to the conversation yet, prompt the other person to continue talking. If you’ve been actively listening (and not using all of their speaking time to try to think of something to say) you’ll have a few points that you can ask open-ended questions about or comment on yourself.
8. Comment on the surroundings. Talk about the food. Not just “Yummy dip!” but something more open-ended, such as: “There is such a unique flavor or spice in this that I can’t quite put my finger on. What do you think it is?” You can also start conversations based on decorative items in the room.
9. Be prepared for awkward pauses. We’ve all had conversations that started with a bang and then quickly hit a lull, where no one was sure what to say next. At this point, you can either excuse yourself or start a conversation on a new topic. The trick is to be prepared for conversational lulls such as these so you can avoid feeling nervous and awkward. Be prepared with a couple of observations about the room, followed by a question. Or you might say something like “Where are you from originally?” or go back to another part of the conversation. For example, “Earlier, you said…” or “I’m curious to know more about…”
10. It’s okay to admit you’re feeling shy. One icebreaker is to say something like: “When I’m in situations like this, I sometimes feel a little shy at first.” If people know that you are feeling this way they will appreciate your candor and they will understand that, if you are quiet or unsure of what to say, you’re not uninterested in what they have to say, you are simply feeling shy.
11. Imagine being with someone you feel comfortable with. During the event, think about the way you behave when you are with someone you feel totally comfortable with. How you would you behave if you were with just them? Now take that feeling of comfort and security into your present situation.
12. Realize that it’s okay to not get along with everyone. As you continue in your conversations, you will, of course, find people whom you don’t enjoy speaking with and people who you feel don’t especially like speaking with you. This is not a personal reflection on you. It’s just a fact of life. We all prefer some personality types over others, and it certainly doesn’t mean you’re not likable. Be open to talking with everyone, and gravitate toward those who make you feel comfortable and who facilitate your communication. And definitely don’t take rejection personally if some in the room don’t talk a lot. Who knows, they might be shy, too.
The biggest key is to relax. When you feel comfortable, so will those with whom you are speaking. Keep in mind that conversational skills get better with practice, so anytime you can step out of your comfort zone and converse with new and interesting people, you’ve developed your conversational muscles, and that means that conversations at the next event you attend will be even easier.
About the author: (HTML)
Susie Cortright is the founder of Momscape.com and Susies-Coupons.com, where she hand picks the best online coupons and products, including coupons at her favorite online discount stores.
About the author: (TEXT):
Susie Cortright is the founder of Momscape.com and Susies-Coupons.com, http://www.susies-coupons.com where she hand picks the best online coupons, including coupons for her favorite online discount stores:
http://www.susies-coupons.com/os.htm and http://www.susies-coupons.com/tg.htm
The Shy Person’s Guide to Conversation
Description: Everyone feels shy from time to time. Here are twelve tips to help you keep conversation flowing.
Keywords: conversation starters for shy people, shyness, conversation, the art of conversation
Everyone feels shy from time to time. Here are twelve tips to help you keep conversation flowing.
1. Before the event, visualize yourself as someone who has an easy time making friends and mingling between different groups and whom everyone likes to talk to. It may feel funny at first, but visualizing a positive outcome and repeating self-affirming statements can help in surprising ways. Try “I am comfortable in social situations. I always know what to say. I am a great friend. People like to talk with me, and I like to talk with them.” When you act as though you are confident, you will feel more confident.
2. Take the pressure off yourself. Keep in mind that you do not need to impress or even to entertain during a conversation. You just need to show your genuine interest in others. When you focus your attention on someone else, you are making that person feel important and accepted, and that can go a long ways in making everyone feel more relaxed and comfortable.
3. Make the other personal feel important. When you do not know what to say, shift your focus away from yourself. Try to think less about what you are nervous about, and focus on what you could say to your conversational partner that would bring a little light into their day. Good friends are thoughtful, caring, and supportive. What could you say to show your thoughtfulness and support for the other person?
4. Smile. Sometimes, we make conversation harder than it needs to be. All you need to do to get started is offer a sincere smile and a willingness to listen.
5. Instead of waiting for someone to say hello and invite you into a conversation, say hello first. If you start the conversation, you can steer it in the way you like. One way to do this is by offering a sincere compliment to someone. Comment on something they are wearing and then ask a related question. Or say simply, “What do you like to do – just for fun?” People love to talk about their hobbies.
6. Actively listen. So many times we are paralyzed with the idea that we need to have something pithy or clever to say when the other person would be more than happy to keep right on talking. Just knowing that can take a lot of pressure off the listener.
7. Ask questions. A conversation is a balance between speaking and listening, but you can take a bit of time to warm into each conversation if you need to. Once you have gotten to know the other person a bit better, you might find that you feel more comfortable sharing ideas and stories of your own. If you aren’t ready to contribute to the conversation yet, prompt the other person to continue talking. If you’ve been actively listening (and not using all of their speaking time to try to think of something to say) you’ll have a few points that you can ask open-ended questions about or comment on yourself.
8. Comment on the surroundings. Talk about the food. Not just “Yummy dip!” but something more open-ended, such as: “There is such a unique flavor or spice in this that I can’t quite put my finger on. What do you think it is?” You can also start conversations based on decorative items in the room.
9. Be prepared for awkward pauses. We’ve all had conversations that started with a bang and then quickly hit a lull, where no one was sure what to say next. At this point, you can either excuse yourself or start a conversation on a new topic. The trick is to be prepared for conversational lulls such as these so you can avoid feeling nervous and awkward. Be prepared with a couple of observations about the room, followed by a question. Or you might say something like “Where are you from originally?” or go back to another part of the conversation. For example, “Earlier, you said…” or “I’m curious to know more about…”
10. It’s okay to admit you’re feeling shy. One icebreaker is to say something like: “When I’m in situations like this, I sometimes feel a little shy at first.” If people know that you are feeling this way they will appreciate your candor and they will understand that, if you are quiet or unsure of what to say, you’re not uninterested in what they have to say, you are simply feeling shy.
11. Imagine being with someone you feel comfortable with. During the event, think about the way you behave when you are with someone you feel totally comfortable with. How you would you behave if you were with just them? Now take that feeling of comfort and security into your present situation.
12. Realize that it’s okay to not get along with everyone. As you continue in your conversations, you will, of course, find people whom you don’t enjoy speaking with and people who you feel don’t especially like speaking with you. This is not a personal reflection on you. It’s just a fact of life. We all prefer some personality types over others, and it certainly doesn’t mean you’re not likable. Be open to talking with everyone, and gravitate toward those who make you feel comfortable and who facilitate your communication. And definitely don’t take rejection personally if some in the room don’t talk a lot. Who knows, they might be shy, too.
The biggest key is to relax. When you feel comfortable, so will those with whom you are speaking. Keep in mind that conversational skills get better with practice, so anytime you can step out of your comfort zone and converse with new and interesting people, you’ve developed your conversational muscles, and that means that conversations at the next event you attend will be even easier.
About the author: (HTML)
Susie Cortright is the founder of Momscape.com and Susies-Coupons.com, where she hand picks the best online coupons and products, including coupons at her favorite online discount stores.
About the author: (TEXT):
Susie Cortright is the founder of Momscape.com and Susies-Coupons.com, http://www.susies-coupons.com where she hand picks the best online coupons, including coupons for her favorite online discount stores:
http://www.susies-coupons.com/os.htm and http://www.susies-coupons.com/tg.htm
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
New Article: No More Resolutions
Here's a New Year's article. Please feel free to share or reprint this, as long as the "About the Author" box remains intact at the bottom of the article.
No More Resolutions
Description: Ditch the New Year's Resolutions this year, and try a Personal Mission Statement instead. Here’s how
by Susie Cortright, http://www.momscape.com
This is the time of year when it is most difficult to stay on track with our goals. It is also the time of year when we're all in a rush to make new ones.
It seems to me that we all have a certain ideal, a certain way of living, which gets completely blown each holiday season.
We find it more difficult to stick to a well balanced diet because, every time we turn around, we are met with a truffle. Either the house is in shambles with dirty dishes, gift wrap paraphernalia, and tinsel and pine needles droppings, or we are not even home. We are out of our routine. Our minds are chattery. Our bodies are in crisis mode, searching in vain for some broccoli and a treadmill.
I would like to suggest that this is not the ideal time of year for any serious and purposeful reflection.
During the holidays, we are buried to the neck in "shoulds" and "should nots." We should not get snappy at Aunt Bernice. We should not be eating so much cream sauce on our vegetables. We should be spending at least an hour a day at the gym. We should be able to get through this holiday season with joy in our hearts and not a restless, impatience that comes from trying to squeeze too much from two weeks of our lives.
It seems to me that most New Year's Resolutions are cleverly disguised and noble-sounding "shoulds." And who needs more of those right now?
In fact, this year, for me, there will be a paring down, and not a building up, of the shoulds. Over the past month, I have re-examined this list of perceived obligations to determine which belong there, and which (out of kindness and gentleness and plain and simple personal integrity) do not.
It started with a day of deliberateness; a day in which I questioned all of my assumptions.
Before I popped anything into my mouth, I asked myself whether I liked its taste, or whether I was simply accustomed to it. Whether I was hungry or simply bored or frustrated or sad.
I walked through my home, taking a long and deliberate look at the furnishings, decor, and knick knacks to see whether I truly liked them and whether they served any sort of meaningful purpose.
Then I took the same eye to my list of shoulds. The experience was really rather liberating. To attempt to adopt an unbiased perspective and asking: Do I really like this? Is this really good for me? Is this really important to me?
At the end of such a day, I demanded honesty from myself as I answered: What do I truly value? What is most important to me? How important is my spirituality, my family, my professional identity?
Then I crafted two mission statements, one for me, and one for my work. Who am I? Who am I to be?
This is such a wonderful instrument for clarifying your purpose in life. Your mission statement may include your values, your priorities, your philosophy, your commitments, your goals. How do you wish your children to live? Are you living in such a way?
It allows you to identify and define your life philosophy. Your spiritual beliefs. That which you find useful. That which you find beautiful.
When you define the end result, you have something to visualize. You have an end result. I have found it easier, throughout my life, to hold up an ideal of the way I want things to be and then to surrender the details. They do take care of themselves if given the chance.
All you need to do is focus on the end result. What kind of a life do you want to lead? What kind of a person do you want to be? See it what that person looks like, how they behave, and what kinds of things they do an on a daily basis. When you can hold the vision of that person in your mind, you will have an easier time saying “no” to anything that betrays that image as it comes into your life.
When you write such a statement, do so in the present tense. Sign the statement in bold ink and place it where you'll read it at the start of every day.
Then expect a shake-up of your shoulds. You may be surprised at the subtraction of certain long-standing and familiar goals, and the addition of some unexpected
new ones.
Don't rush the process. Let it rise organically from a careful study of your life and the way you endeavor to live it, deliberately.
About the author (HTML):
Susie Cortright is the founder of Momscape.com and Susies-Coupons.com. If your Personal Mission Statement involves losing weight, read Susie’s: weight loss program review.
About the author (TEXT):
Susie Cortright is the founder of Momscape.com, http://www.momscape.com
and Susies-Coupons.com, http://www.susies-coupons.com. If your Personal Mission Statement involves losing weight, read Susie’s weight loss program review: http://www.momscape.com/weight-loss-review/index.htm
No More Resolutions
Description: Ditch the New Year's Resolutions this year, and try a Personal Mission Statement instead. Here’s how
by Susie Cortright, http://www.momscape.com
This is the time of year when it is most difficult to stay on track with our goals. It is also the time of year when we're all in a rush to make new ones.
It seems to me that we all have a certain ideal, a certain way of living, which gets completely blown each holiday season.
We find it more difficult to stick to a well balanced diet because, every time we turn around, we are met with a truffle. Either the house is in shambles with dirty dishes, gift wrap paraphernalia, and tinsel and pine needles droppings, or we are not even home. We are out of our routine. Our minds are chattery. Our bodies are in crisis mode, searching in vain for some broccoli and a treadmill.
I would like to suggest that this is not the ideal time of year for any serious and purposeful reflection.
During the holidays, we are buried to the neck in "shoulds" and "should nots." We should not get snappy at Aunt Bernice. We should not be eating so much cream sauce on our vegetables. We should be spending at least an hour a day at the gym. We should be able to get through this holiday season with joy in our hearts and not a restless, impatience that comes from trying to squeeze too much from two weeks of our lives.
It seems to me that most New Year's Resolutions are cleverly disguised and noble-sounding "shoulds." And who needs more of those right now?
In fact, this year, for me, there will be a paring down, and not a building up, of the shoulds. Over the past month, I have re-examined this list of perceived obligations to determine which belong there, and which (out of kindness and gentleness and plain and simple personal integrity) do not.
It started with a day of deliberateness; a day in which I questioned all of my assumptions.
Before I popped anything into my mouth, I asked myself whether I liked its taste, or whether I was simply accustomed to it. Whether I was hungry or simply bored or frustrated or sad.
I walked through my home, taking a long and deliberate look at the furnishings, decor, and knick knacks to see whether I truly liked them and whether they served any sort of meaningful purpose.
Then I took the same eye to my list of shoulds. The experience was really rather liberating. To attempt to adopt an unbiased perspective and asking: Do I really like this? Is this really good for me? Is this really important to me?
At the end of such a day, I demanded honesty from myself as I answered: What do I truly value? What is most important to me? How important is my spirituality, my family, my professional identity?
Then I crafted two mission statements, one for me, and one for my work. Who am I? Who am I to be?
This is such a wonderful instrument for clarifying your purpose in life. Your mission statement may include your values, your priorities, your philosophy, your commitments, your goals. How do you wish your children to live? Are you living in such a way?
It allows you to identify and define your life philosophy. Your spiritual beliefs. That which you find useful. That which you find beautiful.
When you define the end result, you have something to visualize. You have an end result. I have found it easier, throughout my life, to hold up an ideal of the way I want things to be and then to surrender the details. They do take care of themselves if given the chance.
All you need to do is focus on the end result. What kind of a life do you want to lead? What kind of a person do you want to be? See it what that person looks like, how they behave, and what kinds of things they do an on a daily basis. When you can hold the vision of that person in your mind, you will have an easier time saying “no” to anything that betrays that image as it comes into your life.
When you write such a statement, do so in the present tense. Sign the statement in bold ink and place it where you'll read it at the start of every day.
Then expect a shake-up of your shoulds. You may be surprised at the subtraction of certain long-standing and familiar goals, and the addition of some unexpected
new ones.
Don't rush the process. Let it rise organically from a careful study of your life and the way you endeavor to live it, deliberately.
About the author (HTML):
Susie Cortright is the founder of Momscape.com and Susies-Coupons.com. If your Personal Mission Statement involves losing weight, read Susie’s: weight loss program review.
About the author (TEXT):
Susie Cortright is the founder of Momscape.com, http://www.momscape.com
and Susies-Coupons.com, http://www.susies-coupons.com. If your Personal Mission Statement involves losing weight, read Susie’s weight loss program review: http://www.momscape.com/weight-loss-review/index.htm
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
New Article: Preschool Birthday Parties
Here's a brand new Momscape article. Again, you are welcome to reprint, forward, or otherwise share the article, as long as the About the Author box stays at the bottom of the article.
Planning the Preschool Birthday Party: 12 Tips for Kids Age 5 and Under
http://www.momscape.com/articles/preschool-birthday-parties.htm
One day, a friend of mine saw me in line at the grocery store. I was balancing boxes of Capri Suns, cheap plastic goodie bag paraphernalia, and a super tall cake with a Barbie thrust through the middle. I was running late, and I was fearing my child’s guests would arrive before I did, so I was probably sweating and out of breath. I was tired of the birthday party already, and it hadn’t started yet.
Figuring she could commiserate, I said, “Birthday parties wear me out.” And she said, “But they are so joyous.”
Ah, spoken like someone who has a really good nanny.
Preschool birthday parties are joyous, but, the truth is, when my kids were younger, I tended to lose sight of what a successful birthday party is: a memorable event that makes your child feel treasured. I invested way too much into the vision of what I wanted the birthday party experience to be, without thinking enough about the experience from the point of view of my child. I stressed about not leaving out siblings, of having age-appropriate goodie bags for a range of children that was way, way too wide. Somewhere along the line, the magic of the experience was lost.
Now that my kids are a little older, and I have a few more parties under my belt, I do it differently.
Here are some tips for throwing a birthday party for children ages 5 and under.
Start early.
It’s much easier to get everything done when you plan ahead.
Keep it short.
A two-hour party is plenty long for children age 3 and under. Children ages 4 and 5 can generally handle an hour or two longer, but you don’t need to go nuts. Birthday parties are tremendously stimulating for a small child. Throw in some sugar, and tantrums are inevitable.
Keep it small.
The rule of thumb is to keep the number of guests equal to the age of the child. Too many guests take the attention away from the child who is being honored. If you have a large extended family (especially if your family includes cousins with a great variation in ages) you may want to consider having a family celebration separate from the celebration with friends. We have started having our family over for pizza the night before or the night after the children’s party.
Keep it simple.
Ask your child for ideas on activities, games, crafts, or food to have at your party. Kids are surprisingly imaginative and often know exactly how they would like their birthday party to be. Plus, their ideas are often surprisingly simple. Asking your children to describe the type of party they would like to have is a good starting point. If it’s over the top, you can simplify from there. For example, if your child longs for a grand princess tea party, ask everyone to come in their favorite dress up outfit and decorate paper or plastic mugs as your activity. The birthday girl can be responsible for pouring apple juice and handing out the finger sandwiches.
Ask for help.
Ask family members, older siblings, and friends to stick around. If there is a child who you worry about how to handle behaviorally, invite the parent to stay for the party.
Make each guest feel special as they arrive.
Young children can feel tentative at first in a festive, noisy atmosphere, so make sure to make them feel welcome. One really popular idea that we have done in the past: Enlist an older sibling or a parent to do simple face painting for each guest as they arrive.
Give the wee ones something to do.
You don’t need to go overboard, but having a plan is important, and will help the party go more smoothly. This age will engage in free play for quite some time. And then you can have a simple craft station, followed by a simple game, if you are feeling ambitious. Simple crafts can include making photo frames (Orientaltrading.com is great for simple ideas such as these.) All you need is some stickers and squares of cardstock with a 4x6 square cut into the center. Then you can take a photo of the child with the birthday boy or girl and print it immediately (if you have a digital camera kit equipped to do so) or send the photo in the thank you note. If there’s time, you might play some games. Kids love simple party games, such as Duck, Duck, Goose and Ring Around The Rosy. But beware that once a group of children gets riled up, it can be hard to bring them back down.
Use music to help with crowd control.
Fun, lively kids’ tunes can get the party started. When everyone starts to get a little wild and crazy, switch the music to soft classical. The kids probably won’t consciously notice a difference, but you are bound to see a change in their behavior.
Maintain order at gift giving time.
Too often, the children are feeling wild and a bit out of control by the time it’s time to open gifts, and it’s hard to regain control once the gift wrap starts flying. Start in an orderly fashion by placing two chairs side by side. (Kid sized chairs are best.) The child who is opening gifts sits in one chair and the giver sits in the other while their present is opened. This way, the giver feels singled out and special as she watches her present being opened. This also sets up a perfect photo opportunity, when you are guaranteed to have just the guest and the giver in the photo.
Make the birthday girl or boy feel special.
One tradition that we’ve been doing for our children once they turn four is to give the birthday child an inexpensive single use disposable camera (if you look for these on sale, you can get them for under $5.) Tell them that the camera is theirs to document their birthday and birthday party in whatever way they like. When the photos are developed, they can put the prints in an inexpensive plastic mini photo book. Kids take such pride in photos they take themselves.
Goodie Bags.
Go for quality rather than quantity. Young kids love anything with their name on it. Here’s a popular idea that we’ve used: Find inexpensive little sketchbooks and use rubber stamps to spell each guest’s name on the front. Tie a ribbon around the front so it looks extra fancy to young eyes, pair it with a couple of crayons or markers and a lollipop, and you’re all set. Kids also love to unwrap things, so instead of filling a goodie bag with small items, you might gift wrap a more meaningful item and send it home with them.
Some more ideas: My 5-year-old recently came home from a party with a full-size Hershey’s bar, and she was the envy of the entire neighborhood. Another big hit: My sister-in-law once had a spring garden party for her 5-year-old with mini terra cotta pots tied with ribbons and a tiny silk flower. Each child got to plant a seed during the party and take the pot home as a party favor.
Quick and Easy Thank You Notes.
An easy way to do thank you notes is to save up all of the artwork your child creates on any given day, cut the page down the middle, and fold each half into a card. Ask your child what he or she would like to say to each of the guests, in turn. Write them up and ask your child to sign their name, if they are able. If not, they can draw a little picture (or not, depending on the time you want to spend and the patience level of you and your child). Insert a photo of the birthday child and the guest enjoying themselves, and you’re done till next year.
Copyright Susie Cortright
About the author:
Susie Cortright is the founder of Momscape.com and Susies-Coupons.com, where she hand picks only the very best online coupons and products, including coupons for simple kids' party crafts, games, and activities.
Planning the Preschool Birthday Party: 12 Tips for Kids Age 5 and Under
http://www.momscape.com/articles/preschool-birthday-parties.htm
One day, a friend of mine saw me in line at the grocery store. I was balancing boxes of Capri Suns, cheap plastic goodie bag paraphernalia, and a super tall cake with a Barbie thrust through the middle. I was running late, and I was fearing my child’s guests would arrive before I did, so I was probably sweating and out of breath. I was tired of the birthday party already, and it hadn’t started yet.
Figuring she could commiserate, I said, “Birthday parties wear me out.” And she said, “But they are so joyous.”
Ah, spoken like someone who has a really good nanny.
Preschool birthday parties are joyous, but, the truth is, when my kids were younger, I tended to lose sight of what a successful birthday party is: a memorable event that makes your child feel treasured. I invested way too much into the vision of what I wanted the birthday party experience to be, without thinking enough about the experience from the point of view of my child. I stressed about not leaving out siblings, of having age-appropriate goodie bags for a range of children that was way, way too wide. Somewhere along the line, the magic of the experience was lost.
Now that my kids are a little older, and I have a few more parties under my belt, I do it differently.
Here are some tips for throwing a birthday party for children ages 5 and under.
Start early.
It’s much easier to get everything done when you plan ahead.
Keep it short.
A two-hour party is plenty long for children age 3 and under. Children ages 4 and 5 can generally handle an hour or two longer, but you don’t need to go nuts. Birthday parties are tremendously stimulating for a small child. Throw in some sugar, and tantrums are inevitable.
Keep it small.
The rule of thumb is to keep the number of guests equal to the age of the child. Too many guests take the attention away from the child who is being honored. If you have a large extended family (especially if your family includes cousins with a great variation in ages) you may want to consider having a family celebration separate from the celebration with friends. We have started having our family over for pizza the night before or the night after the children’s party.
Keep it simple.
Ask your child for ideas on activities, games, crafts, or food to have at your party. Kids are surprisingly imaginative and often know exactly how they would like their birthday party to be. Plus, their ideas are often surprisingly simple. Asking your children to describe the type of party they would like to have is a good starting point. If it’s over the top, you can simplify from there. For example, if your child longs for a grand princess tea party, ask everyone to come in their favorite dress up outfit and decorate paper or plastic mugs as your activity. The birthday girl can be responsible for pouring apple juice and handing out the finger sandwiches.
Ask for help.
Ask family members, older siblings, and friends to stick around. If there is a child who you worry about how to handle behaviorally, invite the parent to stay for the party.
Make each guest feel special as they arrive.
Young children can feel tentative at first in a festive, noisy atmosphere, so make sure to make them feel welcome. One really popular idea that we have done in the past: Enlist an older sibling or a parent to do simple face painting for each guest as they arrive.
Give the wee ones something to do.
You don’t need to go overboard, but having a plan is important, and will help the party go more smoothly. This age will engage in free play for quite some time. And then you can have a simple craft station, followed by a simple game, if you are feeling ambitious. Simple crafts can include making photo frames (Orientaltrading.com is great for simple ideas such as these.) All you need is some stickers and squares of cardstock with a 4x6 square cut into the center. Then you can take a photo of the child with the birthday boy or girl and print it immediately (if you have a digital camera kit equipped to do so) or send the photo in the thank you note. If there’s time, you might play some games. Kids love simple party games, such as Duck, Duck, Goose and Ring Around The Rosy. But beware that once a group of children gets riled up, it can be hard to bring them back down.
Use music to help with crowd control.
Fun, lively kids’ tunes can get the party started. When everyone starts to get a little wild and crazy, switch the music to soft classical. The kids probably won’t consciously notice a difference, but you are bound to see a change in their behavior.
Maintain order at gift giving time.
Too often, the children are feeling wild and a bit out of control by the time it’s time to open gifts, and it’s hard to regain control once the gift wrap starts flying. Start in an orderly fashion by placing two chairs side by side. (Kid sized chairs are best.) The child who is opening gifts sits in one chair and the giver sits in the other while their present is opened. This way, the giver feels singled out and special as she watches her present being opened. This also sets up a perfect photo opportunity, when you are guaranteed to have just the guest and the giver in the photo.
Make the birthday girl or boy feel special.
One tradition that we’ve been doing for our children once they turn four is to give the birthday child an inexpensive single use disposable camera (if you look for these on sale, you can get them for under $5.) Tell them that the camera is theirs to document their birthday and birthday party in whatever way they like. When the photos are developed, they can put the prints in an inexpensive plastic mini photo book. Kids take such pride in photos they take themselves.
Goodie Bags.
Go for quality rather than quantity. Young kids love anything with their name on it. Here’s a popular idea that we’ve used: Find inexpensive little sketchbooks and use rubber stamps to spell each guest’s name on the front. Tie a ribbon around the front so it looks extra fancy to young eyes, pair it with a couple of crayons or markers and a lollipop, and you’re all set. Kids also love to unwrap things, so instead of filling a goodie bag with small items, you might gift wrap a more meaningful item and send it home with them.
Some more ideas: My 5-year-old recently came home from a party with a full-size Hershey’s bar, and she was the envy of the entire neighborhood. Another big hit: My sister-in-law once had a spring garden party for her 5-year-old with mini terra cotta pots tied with ribbons and a tiny silk flower. Each child got to plant a seed during the party and take the pot home as a party favor.
Quick and Easy Thank You Notes.
An easy way to do thank you notes is to save up all of the artwork your child creates on any given day, cut the page down the middle, and fold each half into a card. Ask your child what he or she would like to say to each of the guests, in turn. Write them up and ask your child to sign their name, if they are able. If not, they can draw a little picture (or not, depending on the time you want to spend and the patience level of you and your child). Insert a photo of the birthday child and the guest enjoying themselves, and you’re done till next year.
Copyright Susie Cortright
About the author:
Susie Cortright is the founder of Momscape.com and Susies-Coupons.com, where she hand picks only the very best online coupons and products, including coupons for simple kids' party crafts, games, and activities.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
24 Creative Holiday Gift Wrap Ideas
Here's another article. Again, feel feel to reprint or otherwise share this article, as long as the About the Author text at the bottom stays intact.
24 Creative Holiday Gift Wrap Ideas
by Susie Cortright
The purpose of a present is to make the recipient feel treasured, and with a little special care in the gift wrap, you can do just that.
Here are 24 creative gift wrap ideas.
1. Wrap your gifts with another gift. For example, you might wrap a gift with a bright new silk scarf. Wrap a gift for a gourmet with a pretty printed kitchen towel. Wrap a gift for a child in a fun and colorful new T shirt, and a gift for a baby in a receiving blanket. Tie a gift for a man with a new necktie. Finish a gift for a woman with a new necklace.
2. Strive to use wrap that coordinates with the gift. For example, use fun scrapbooking paper for a crafter and copies of old maps for a traveler.
3. Print your favorite family photos of the year onto plain white paper and use for wrapping small treasures.
4. Use fabric scraps and ribbon. Each time you are in a discount store, stop by the fabric clearance section. You can often find elegant and unique supplies at a deep discount.
5. Cut shapes or monograms from cardstock or old holiday greeting cards and hang from ribbon, jute or yarn.
6. Make your own gift wrap with waxed paper and the embellishments of your choice. First, cover your ironing board with a cloth. Take a sheet of waxed paper and lay it flat on the cloth. Adorn the paper with flower petals, confetti, dried leaves, anything you like that is relatively flat. Now put another piece of waxed paper on top. Place another cloth on top of the waxed paper and run a hot iron over the top. The heat from your iron will seal the edges together.
7. Recycle gift wrap from previous years.
8. Sew simple fabric gift bags that can be reused year after year.
9. Adorn the gift with silk flowers or small charms. The scrapbooking industry has made available so many amazing little embellishments that are perfect for adorning gifts.
10. Use rubber stamps to stamp the name or monogram of the recipient (or a special holiday message).
11. Use the recipient's favorite section of the newspaper as gift wrap. Whether it's the comics or the sports page, this is an easy, inexpensive way to add a personal touch, especially when combined with one of these other techniques.
12. Fold a gift box from last year's holiday cards.
13. Wrap a gift in a drawing or painting that your children have made.
14. Use natural elements from your backyard to adorn gifts. Pine boughs or pine cones, dried grasses, and dried leaves are all charming choices.
15. Purchase plain paper and ask your children to decorate the wrapped item or gift bag with drawings and special messages.
16. Browse flea markets, garage sales, or dollar stores for inexpensive and unique boxes, bags, and bows. You can even decoupage an old cigar box with photos or memorabilia and create a gift box that is a gift in itself.
17. Use stamps, stencils and stickers to dress up plain white or brown paper.
18. If you have young children, ask them to make handprints on plain white or brown gift wrap before wrapping presents for their grandparents.
19. Create a scavenger hunt to lead them on a search for their gift. My kids love to find their presents through a series of clues, and it builds such lively anticipation for the present itself.
20. Find an inexpensive purse or handbag at a discount store and package a range of gifts inside. You might even include a new wallet with a gift card or two.
21. Purchase inexpensive balsa wood boxes at craft or hobby stores. Paint them and adorn with stickers, rhinestones, and beads. The gift box becomes a one of a kind treasure box. This is especially appreciated among young children, who love new keepsake boxes.
22. Tie an old fashioned rattle on a baby’s gift.
23. Use cloth diapers for a baby’s gift and attach with jumbo diaper pins.
24. Create a gift basket. Fill the basket with colorful crumpled paper, tinsel, raffia or straw. Assemble small gift items inside into an attractive display. Top it all of with colorful, decorative cellophane. The cellophane should be at least twice as wide as the diameter of the basket. Place the basket in the middle of the cellophane and gather the excess at the top, tying it with a shiny ribbon.
With a little extra time and attention, you can make a memorable gift even more so by choosing materials and gift wrap that suits the personality and style of the recipient.
About the author:
Susie Cortright is the founder of Momscape.com and Susies-Coupons.com, where she hand picks the best online coupons, including coupons for photo processing and photo gifts and coupons for gift wrap supplies.
24 Creative Holiday Gift Wrap Ideas
by Susie Cortright
The purpose of a present is to make the recipient feel treasured, and with a little special care in the gift wrap, you can do just that.
Here are 24 creative gift wrap ideas.
1. Wrap your gifts with another gift. For example, you might wrap a gift with a bright new silk scarf. Wrap a gift for a gourmet with a pretty printed kitchen towel. Wrap a gift for a child in a fun and colorful new T shirt, and a gift for a baby in a receiving blanket. Tie a gift for a man with a new necktie. Finish a gift for a woman with a new necklace.
2. Strive to use wrap that coordinates with the gift. For example, use fun scrapbooking paper for a crafter and copies of old maps for a traveler.
3. Print your favorite family photos of the year onto plain white paper and use for wrapping small treasures.
4. Use fabric scraps and ribbon. Each time you are in a discount store, stop by the fabric clearance section. You can often find elegant and unique supplies at a deep discount.
5. Cut shapes or monograms from cardstock or old holiday greeting cards and hang from ribbon, jute or yarn.
6. Make your own gift wrap with waxed paper and the embellishments of your choice. First, cover your ironing board with a cloth. Take a sheet of waxed paper and lay it flat on the cloth. Adorn the paper with flower petals, confetti, dried leaves, anything you like that is relatively flat. Now put another piece of waxed paper on top. Place another cloth on top of the waxed paper and run a hot iron over the top. The heat from your iron will seal the edges together.
7. Recycle gift wrap from previous years.
8. Sew simple fabric gift bags that can be reused year after year.
9. Adorn the gift with silk flowers or small charms. The scrapbooking industry has made available so many amazing little embellishments that are perfect for adorning gifts.
10. Use rubber stamps to stamp the name or monogram of the recipient (or a special holiday message).
11. Use the recipient's favorite section of the newspaper as gift wrap. Whether it's the comics or the sports page, this is an easy, inexpensive way to add a personal touch, especially when combined with one of these other techniques.
12. Fold a gift box from last year's holiday cards.
13. Wrap a gift in a drawing or painting that your children have made.
14. Use natural elements from your backyard to adorn gifts. Pine boughs or pine cones, dried grasses, and dried leaves are all charming choices.
15. Purchase plain paper and ask your children to decorate the wrapped item or gift bag with drawings and special messages.
16. Browse flea markets, garage sales, or dollar stores for inexpensive and unique boxes, bags, and bows. You can even decoupage an old cigar box with photos or memorabilia and create a gift box that is a gift in itself.
17. Use stamps, stencils and stickers to dress up plain white or brown paper.
18. If you have young children, ask them to make handprints on plain white or brown gift wrap before wrapping presents for their grandparents.
19. Create a scavenger hunt to lead them on a search for their gift. My kids love to find their presents through a series of clues, and it builds such lively anticipation for the present itself.
20. Find an inexpensive purse or handbag at a discount store and package a range of gifts inside. You might even include a new wallet with a gift card or two.
21. Purchase inexpensive balsa wood boxes at craft or hobby stores. Paint them and adorn with stickers, rhinestones, and beads. The gift box becomes a one of a kind treasure box. This is especially appreciated among young children, who love new keepsake boxes.
22. Tie an old fashioned rattle on a baby’s gift.
23. Use cloth diapers for a baby’s gift and attach with jumbo diaper pins.
24. Create a gift basket. Fill the basket with colorful crumpled paper, tinsel, raffia or straw. Assemble small gift items inside into an attractive display. Top it all of with colorful, decorative cellophane. The cellophane should be at least twice as wide as the diameter of the basket. Place the basket in the middle of the cellophane and gather the excess at the top, tying it with a shiny ribbon.
With a little extra time and attention, you can make a memorable gift even more so by choosing materials and gift wrap that suits the personality and style of the recipient.
About the author:
Susie Cortright is the founder of Momscape.com and Susies-Coupons.com, where she hand picks the best online coupons, including coupons for photo processing and photo gifts and coupons for gift wrap supplies.
Monday, December 04, 2006
Article: Revering the Crayon Marks
This essay on recapturing the magic of motherhood has been a Momscape favorite since it was first published several years ago, so I've decided to republish it this week. You are more than welcome to reprint it in your blog, ezine, website, or just to share it with friends, as long as the "about the author" box remains intact at the bottom of the article.
Revering the Crayon Marks
by Susie Cortright, http://www.momscape.com
http://www.susies-coupons.com
"Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired." --Mother Theresa
It was one of those days when my husband left promising to return home a little early, and to bring with him a pizza.
I had started the day, even, in one of those relatively rare but still very real moods in which the best I was going to be able to do in my role as a stay-at-home mom would be to fake a smile and turn my back, when necessary, to count to ten.
It was on this particular day that the girls and I were heading to a distant store to pick out just the right gift for someone. My 3-year-old, who is much less adept (thankfully) at reading her mommy’s moods than her daddy is, was passing the time by speaking every thought that occurred to her. Right now, those thoughts revolved around the time of day.
"If you get up early enough, it’s night," she announced. "Callie gets earbubble," (that would be "irritable") "right before her nap." "Daddy comes home when it gets dark." I answered yes to all of these things, only half-listening.
Then, making conversation in the distracted way I do on days like this, I sputtered a question: "What’s your favorite time of the day?" Silence.
"What did you ask me, mommy?"
So I repeated the question. "What’s your favorite time of the day?"
Silence again. I looked in the rear view mirror. Her blank stare told me she thought my question was absurd. After a time, she answered: "This one."
Now Cassie does enjoy a good long car ride, so I asked her the question again as she was getting ready for bed that night: "Cassie, what’s your favorite time of day?" The answer was the same: "This one."
This one. And so should it be for me. How I wish it were. How I wish I could recognize the peace and joy in every single moment with my kids. My daughter is better than me at something I long to be good at. It’s what Richard Foster, author of Prayer: Finding the Heart’s True Home, calls “the Prayer of the Ordinary.”
"We are Praying the Ordinary," he writes, "when we see God in the ordinary experiences of life. Can we find meaning in the crayon marks on the wall made by the kids? Are they somehow the finger of God writing on the wall of our hearts?" In the same chapter, he writes: "It is in the everyday and the commonplace that we learn patience, acceptance, and contentment."
That, I’m sure, is true. Particularly that patience part. My fear is that, like everyone with adult children tells me, the time will go too quickly, I fear that I’ll wish for it back, even those mealtimes interrupted by the whisper "Mommy, I pooped." Even those whines for another Go-gurt. Even the stray Legos I nail with my bare feet. I fear that I’ll soon pine for all the time I’ve ever wished away.
And yet, though I’m infinitely conscious of trying to freeze those moments the good and the bad in my memory for some distant future, it’s hard. It is hard to see those crayon marks on the wall as anything but crayon marks. Crayon marks that I will have to scrub.
I’m experiencing a crayon mark of sorts right now. As I jot notes for this column at the kitchen table, my 3-year old is sitting on my lap, trying to push my pen along the page with her Three Little Pigs book. She has just dragged her grape lollipop through my hair and wiped her nose on my sleeve. "Mommy, make your pen go ALL the way along the page," she orders, scooting it along and making my thoughts an illegible mess of ink.
For a moment, I have an unbecoming and out-of-the-blue urge to chuck her beloved book across the room. And it is precisely times like these when I need to indeed see the crayon marks as something left by the finger of God. To feel a sense of reverence for my every moment of my life as a mom. To once again find meaning and glory in my daughter’s cherubic yet filthy face.
But for this, I need some kind of tool, some trick for the heat of the moment. A trick to bring myself back in an instant to the kind of mother I long to be, the kind of mother I sometimes know myself to be, and the kind of mother I want my daughters to remember me to be.
At this moment, I have a little talk with myself. My daughter and I end up tucking our feet under a blanket on the couch and reading the very book that I wanted to hurl. And I enjoy it as I always do if can just sink into the moment and remember what a little miracle I have here on my lap.
Perhaps that tool, then, is surrender. Or maybe it’s distraction. The same trick that all moms learn when their youngest is about 18 months old. When Cassie was that age, and she’d get angry and frustrated, distraction worked wonders. When she was 2 ½, distraction worked wonders on my own anger and frustration.
Perhaps that tool is compassion. Compassion for our children and a conscious understanding of what they must be feeling at certain times in their precious and sometimes bewildering lives. And compassion to ourselves, which we can show by not over-scheduling our lives to the point where it’s impossible to get down on the floor and play for 20 minutes, if that’s what it takes. Or to call your own mommy just to chat for 20 minutes, if that’s what it takes.
Perhaps that tool lies in the realization that our lives are long and full and that there will be plenty of time to do what we need to do when we no longer have little ones pulling on our pant legs.
Perhaps it is the tool of single-tasking. So we don’t feel distracted all the time. This is the tool that involves downshifting out of overdrive, because it’s in overdrive that we talk too much, eat too much, think too much, and enjoy too little.
Perhaps it is the tool of shifting our awareness. A conscious committing to memory of the ripe physical sensations of motherhood: The feel of your baby’s marvelous, heavy head on your chest. The smell of Cheerios on her breath. This is how we bring ourselves back, gently, to the gifts that are under our fingers and, oftentimes, directly underfoot.
Perhaps it is the tool of solitude. So that, by enjoying the pursuit of something, solo, we may return to them renewed and without resentment.
Perhaps it is the tool of being honest and talking it out with other moms. It helps me to remember that we’re all in this together. Most days we are genuinely loving it. Some days we are genuinely faking it, just as generations of good moms before us have done.
There is a certain solace in this story told by my mother-in-law, whose three grown children would each describe an ideal, involved, committed, and very loving mother. There were days at home with her young children, she says, when her face hurt at the end of the day from smiling. A clear and present sign that her smile was, for hours at a time, forced. But her kids didn’t know. With grace, neither will mine. And tomorrow will be a different kind of a day, with new tools to look upon those crayon marks with the reverence they deserve.
About the author:
Susie Cortright is the founder of Momscape.com and Susies-Coupons.com, where she hand picks only the very best online coupons and products, including coupons for children's clothing and baby gear.
Revering the Crayon Marks
by Susie Cortright, http://www.momscape.com
http://www.susies-coupons.com
"Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired." --Mother Theresa
It was one of those days when my husband left promising to return home a little early, and to bring with him a pizza.
I had started the day, even, in one of those relatively rare but still very real moods in which the best I was going to be able to do in my role as a stay-at-home mom would be to fake a smile and turn my back, when necessary, to count to ten.
It was on this particular day that the girls and I were heading to a distant store to pick out just the right gift for someone. My 3-year-old, who is much less adept (thankfully) at reading her mommy’s moods than her daddy is, was passing the time by speaking every thought that occurred to her. Right now, those thoughts revolved around the time of day.
"If you get up early enough, it’s night," she announced. "Callie gets earbubble," (that would be "irritable") "right before her nap." "Daddy comes home when it gets dark." I answered yes to all of these things, only half-listening.
Then, making conversation in the distracted way I do on days like this, I sputtered a question: "What’s your favorite time of the day?" Silence.
"What did you ask me, mommy?"
So I repeated the question. "What’s your favorite time of the day?"
Silence again. I looked in the rear view mirror. Her blank stare told me she thought my question was absurd. After a time, she answered: "This one."
Now Cassie does enjoy a good long car ride, so I asked her the question again as she was getting ready for bed that night: "Cassie, what’s your favorite time of day?" The answer was the same: "This one."
This one. And so should it be for me. How I wish it were. How I wish I could recognize the peace and joy in every single moment with my kids. My daughter is better than me at something I long to be good at. It’s what Richard Foster, author of Prayer: Finding the Heart’s True Home, calls “the Prayer of the Ordinary.”
"We are Praying the Ordinary," he writes, "when we see God in the ordinary experiences of life. Can we find meaning in the crayon marks on the wall made by the kids? Are they somehow the finger of God writing on the wall of our hearts?" In the same chapter, he writes: "It is in the everyday and the commonplace that we learn patience, acceptance, and contentment."
That, I’m sure, is true. Particularly that patience part. My fear is that, like everyone with adult children tells me, the time will go too quickly, I fear that I’ll wish for it back, even those mealtimes interrupted by the whisper "Mommy, I pooped." Even those whines for another Go-gurt. Even the stray Legos I nail with my bare feet. I fear that I’ll soon pine for all the time I’ve ever wished away.
And yet, though I’m infinitely conscious of trying to freeze those moments the good and the bad in my memory for some distant future, it’s hard. It is hard to see those crayon marks on the wall as anything but crayon marks. Crayon marks that I will have to scrub.
I’m experiencing a crayon mark of sorts right now. As I jot notes for this column at the kitchen table, my 3-year old is sitting on my lap, trying to push my pen along the page with her Three Little Pigs book. She has just dragged her grape lollipop through my hair and wiped her nose on my sleeve. "Mommy, make your pen go ALL the way along the page," she orders, scooting it along and making my thoughts an illegible mess of ink.
For a moment, I have an unbecoming and out-of-the-blue urge to chuck her beloved book across the room. And it is precisely times like these when I need to indeed see the crayon marks as something left by the finger of God. To feel a sense of reverence for my every moment of my life as a mom. To once again find meaning and glory in my daughter’s cherubic yet filthy face.
But for this, I need some kind of tool, some trick for the heat of the moment. A trick to bring myself back in an instant to the kind of mother I long to be, the kind of mother I sometimes know myself to be, and the kind of mother I want my daughters to remember me to be.
At this moment, I have a little talk with myself. My daughter and I end up tucking our feet under a blanket on the couch and reading the very book that I wanted to hurl. And I enjoy it as I always do if can just sink into the moment and remember what a little miracle I have here on my lap.
Perhaps that tool, then, is surrender. Or maybe it’s distraction. The same trick that all moms learn when their youngest is about 18 months old. When Cassie was that age, and she’d get angry and frustrated, distraction worked wonders. When she was 2 ½, distraction worked wonders on my own anger and frustration.
Perhaps that tool is compassion. Compassion for our children and a conscious understanding of what they must be feeling at certain times in their precious and sometimes bewildering lives. And compassion to ourselves, which we can show by not over-scheduling our lives to the point where it’s impossible to get down on the floor and play for 20 minutes, if that’s what it takes. Or to call your own mommy just to chat for 20 minutes, if that’s what it takes.
Perhaps that tool lies in the realization that our lives are long and full and that there will be plenty of time to do what we need to do when we no longer have little ones pulling on our pant legs.
Perhaps it is the tool of single-tasking. So we don’t feel distracted all the time. This is the tool that involves downshifting out of overdrive, because it’s in overdrive that we talk too much, eat too much, think too much, and enjoy too little.
Perhaps it is the tool of shifting our awareness. A conscious committing to memory of the ripe physical sensations of motherhood: The feel of your baby’s marvelous, heavy head on your chest. The smell of Cheerios on her breath. This is how we bring ourselves back, gently, to the gifts that are under our fingers and, oftentimes, directly underfoot.
Perhaps it is the tool of solitude. So that, by enjoying the pursuit of something, solo, we may return to them renewed and without resentment.
Perhaps it is the tool of being honest and talking it out with other moms. It helps me to remember that we’re all in this together. Most days we are genuinely loving it. Some days we are genuinely faking it, just as generations of good moms before us have done.
There is a certain solace in this story told by my mother-in-law, whose three grown children would each describe an ideal, involved, committed, and very loving mother. There were days at home with her young children, she says, when her face hurt at the end of the day from smiling. A clear and present sign that her smile was, for hours at a time, forced. But her kids didn’t know. With grace, neither will mine. And tomorrow will be a different kind of a day, with new tools to look upon those crayon marks with the reverence they deserve.
About the author:
Susie Cortright is the founder of Momscape.com and Susies-Coupons.com, where she hand picks only the very best online coupons and products, including coupons for children's clothing and baby gear.
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